Photo: Courtesy of the Kremlin
Information: President of the Russian Federation Vladimir Putin
This time it was not about another shipwreck, the successful intervention of Bayraktar or the liquidation of another general. This is much worse. Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin will not participate in an ordinary hockey tournament.
Seriously attentive readers of Sputnik, Aeronet and other media, who now do not have access to the only true information due to Fial’s dictatorship, can find the above-mentioned tragic news in other media.
A tireless fighter against Nazism anywhere in the world, a brave tiger tamer, a perfect Siberian bear hunter, a diver who finds with his sharp eyes in the Black Sea amphorae that no one has seen there a week before, will not set a goal for Chelyabinsk. Tractor Network or any other team that found the courage this year to go up against a single shooter who had no problem scoring double-digit goals for a goalkeeper previously caught in the NHL.
Russian fans, who have been prevented by the conspiracy of the world’s plutocrats, the Masons, the Illuminati and the Bilderberg team, from participating in their team at the World Hockey Championship, will also not be screaming at Lužniki. As Kremlin spokesman Peskov announced today, the country’s great leader is missing the season. Of course, there is outright unfounded speculation that the absence of the best forward of the 21st century is due to his poor health. Peskov’s spokesman categorically denied these rumors, saying that Vladimir Vladimirovich was fully engaged in preparing another plan (this time under the letter R) during the denazification of Ukraine. As it turned out, his generals, who, moreover, were dying, were unable to realize his ingenious intentions in the implementation of the new Soviet EU and the war against the decadent West. Comrade Putin with t.č. he couldn’t be bothered with preparing for the big game, although – as Peskov put it – he never needed any pre-match training.
Famous fighters of the Russian Federation (randomly Bure, Mogilny, Gusarov, etc.) received this report with understanding, but also sadness, because a proper tomato is only a sword against Putin. Moreover, as Pavel Bure said, it was always possible to learn something from a great leader. His zigzags, which he performs today and every day, are completely original and unprecedented in the world. The fact that Forward Putin does not need a left or right wing and is sufficient for himself is also an innovative way of fighting. An announced attack on the opponent’s goal in the middle, and then a quick return to his own defensive zone is also a trick that is not yet known by the world’s coaches. Even the change of team coach in the middle of the second half of the match is not uncommon.
However, supporters of Vladimir Vladmirovic need not be sad. As announced, as soon as it warms up a bit, this Russian Cimrman will start its Black Sea diving season. As discovered, there are a number of hitherto unexplored shipwrecks at the bottom, which proved non-existent last year.
Which, after the bad news of his absence in a hockey jersey, is the light at the end of the tunnel.
Entered by: Tomáš Vodvářka
“Certified bacon geek. Evil social media fanatic. Music practitioner. Communicator.”